Love. Happiness. A (Real) Laser Gun.

This weekend I went to the final wedding of the summer.  The groom is a close friend of the family, or as my family puts it, he’s one of the “Other Kids.”  He’s a great guy and is one of the most energetic, enthusiastic, spontaneous, silly, and spiritual people I know.  His bride, and now wife, matches all of these qualities while also being a bit more grounded.  They are both huge nerds, like me.  At the wedding we discussed whether he should have worn his Ninja Turtle onesie instead of a suit and tie.  I was surprised he wasn’t wearing his Green Lantern ring, or Tri-Force belt buckle.

Since the groom is part of the family, we considered buying something nice and thoughtful.  Then we remembered they are both starving college students who are going to be living in a studio apartment.  Considering their lack of funds and lack of space, we thought gift cards were a better option.

What you can buy with this card: Toilet paper, paper towels, bath towels, broccoli, cheese, frozen cheese and broccoli, furniture, clothing, a belt, a scarf, a headband, a wristwatch, toilet bowl cleaner, action figures, x-box games, x-box accessories, box with an x on it, a blender, a crock pot, a microwave, pens, markers, glitter pens, coloring book, P.J.’s, party balloons, party hats, band-aids, Tylenol, socks, duct tape…
What you cannot buy: Love. Happiness. A (real) laser gun.

And yes, I just realized I spelled broccoli wrong.  Not good for an ex-English teacher.

In the card, my siblings and I then drew realistic portraits of the couple in the card.  Here’s mine:

This wild couple is married for time and all eternity

The reception was at the bride’s house, and I had never been there before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect.  The groom’s family lives in a humble abode in an average suburb.  When I arrived on her street, I didn’t expect the houses to look like this:

When did we get to Pemberly?

Or this:

This here picture be taken on a pirate ship. That be why it’s so slanty.

However, the cake looked like this:

And I knew I was at the right wedding.

There was also a sheet cake made of vanilla cake with a whipped cream and strawberry filling.  Light and delicious, perfect for an outdoor summer wedding.  Also, the yard was gorgeous.  I didn’t get a good picture of it, but here’s one of the other food tables:

My brother and I went over the night before to help.   When we arrived, people were at that awkward stage where almost everything was done, and only small tidbits were left.  However, no one seemed to know what those small tidbits were.  So, we helped the groom’s sister, another close friend, assemble the plastic-ware nicely into pretty glass containers.

While there, we had the following conversations:

Me/My Brother:  Hi!  We’re friends with the groom.

Friendly Twenty-Something Stranger: Hi! I’m Doug’s Girlfriend.

Me/My Brother: Who’s Doug?

Doug’s Girlfriend: He’s the eldest brother.

Me/My Brother: Of which family?  Oh, wait.  The groom’s the oldest of his family.  Nice to meet you.

 Next Conversation:

Friendly Middle-Aged Stranger: Hi!  I’m Dave’s Brother.

Me/My Brother:  Who’s Dave?

Dave’s Brother: He’s the father of the bride.

Me/My Brother: Oh.

Maybe we should have looked at the invitation one more time.

My brother and I decided we should introduce ourselves as Laura’s Brother and Michael’s Sister.

In the course of the evening, we chatted with Dave’s Brother (I believe his name was Carl) and Pat/Dave’s Brother’s Wife.  They were a friendly and lovely couple, and Pat mentioned she had been in Girl Scouts.  Anyone who mentions that must be awesome.  At the reception, it was nice to know just a few more people.

On Saturday, we arrived at the reception.  My brother-in-law was a groomsman, and his wife, my eldest sister, discovered there were no supplies to decorate the car.  Fortunately, this is my family’s specialty.

My mom (Laura’s Mom), and my brother (Laura’s Brother) went to a CVS pharmacy we had passed along the way.  Apparently, CVS does not regularly carry supplies for decorating cars at weddings, so my mom and brother became creative.  By the end of the evening, the car was decorated by paper plates with smiley faces on them, bendy straws rising out of the car door like eyelashes, toilet paper used as streamers, a trail of empty soda cans, and filled with balloons.  It was magnificently done.

There is no flash on my phone, so I drew this beautiful portrait instead.

The bride and groom had their first dance together to the romantic theme song from Final Fantasy VIII.  A great song for the couple.  Nice enough for those who didn’t recognize it, and nerdy enough for those who did.  They exchanged donuts instead of cake, threw the bouquet and garter belt, and then boogied on the dance floor.  The groom and I had tested it out the night before, including a few mock-break dancing maneuvers.  These are difficult on concrete.

Then, the end of the night came and the bride gracefully hugged friends and family goodbye while holding a donut in her hand.  As people created a shower of bubbles, they hurried to their car, and then drove off into the night.

It was a great night, and a lovely reception.  Most of all, I wish Daniel and Brittany the best of luck in their future.  I know they will have love, happiness, and, someday, real laser guns.

Have you been to a reception lately?  What would your ideal cake be made out of?  If you could pick a different romantic song with a nerdtastic reference, what would it be?  Do you have “Other Kids” in your family?  Did you know the doughnut cake was actually hiding Link’s Master Sword?


While driving in on Saturday for the reception, my siblings and I decided to wave at fellow guests like we knew them.  We only knew a few, and everyone else waved back like they knew us too.  Hurray for nice people.


Speaking of nice people, I linked to this on Facebook and another of my family’s Other Kids said they wished they could be there.  It’s a little tricky when her husband (another good friend) is in the military, currently on a tour of duty, while she is at a military base in Europe.  A bit tough to come to a wedding in Southern California from Europe, especially with two small kids in tow.

High-class portrait of Mike and Dorothy and their two awesome kids.


8 thoughts on “Love. Happiness. A (Real) Laser Gun.

  1. What a GREAT card! So funny, warm, memorable for years to come. And the wedding cake is fantastic – I love when people really personalize their weddings! :)

    • This was wedding number 4 that I was invited to this summer. I wasn’t able to go to two, but I got reports from my siblings on each. All of them really fit the couple getting married, which was nice.

  2. If you can make a wedding personal and not ‘off the peg’, that’s got to be a good idea.

    When my wife and I were joined in geeky matrimony, we decided that we had to have a service which reflected who we were as nerds – when asked which music we wanted to use for the Bride’s entrance, we settled on some way to incorporate Joss Whedon into our happy event by using a music cue from the “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” score album, “Sacrifice”.

    Sounded like a great celebration – which is very much the point of the day, after all.

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