P.N. Guins

The P.N. Guins are the greatest imaginary rock band in the world!!!!!!!!!!  The band developed Music of the Imagination, a technique where they don’t use real instruments.  People’s imagination is more powerful and can make things more amazing than what they can be in real life.  They can’t compete with the imagination, so instead they empower it.

They met in Ohio, but quickly moved to England so they could develop British accents like all the great rock bands: The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Muse, and Madonna.

After developing some hot licks and mad beats, they put together their first album: Penguins, Polar Bears, and Other Polar Opposites.  Some of their hit songs are:

Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow Cone

Ice Cubes Falling Down The Back of My Shirt

March of the Emperor Penguins

Fans were astonished by the stellar and spectacular music, and flocked to buy their second album: Everything In The Kitchen Sink.

As the lead singer told reporters, “It’s a quasiphysical, metaphysical sort of album about how you’re mind’s like a kitchen sink, and everything gets all cluttered up in there, and it just gets nasty and gross and moldy, and no one wants to clean it up.  They just walk by and don’t touch it, and say, ‘well that’s not my mess, I didn’t make it,” and it just keeps getting nastier and moldier.  And that’s why you’ve got to stop and clean things out now and then, just like how you’ve got to clean out your mind by taking naps.”

Some of the hit songs from this album are:

Everything In The Kitchen Sink

Nap Time On Soap Bubble Island

Part of the proceeds from their albums goes to the Polar Bear Habitat Foundation.  You can participate by going to your freezer, reaching to the back where all your old ice cubes are.  Then you put them in a box and write “Alaska” on the box.  Send the box in the mail, and professional Ice Builders are going to add your ice cube to a giant ice raft.  Once complete, they’ll send it to the North Pole.  This way, all the polar bears who have been made homeless by global warming can now have a home.  There are few sights more heartbreaking than a homeless polar bear.

NOTE: Audio clips are forthcoming.


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