So Long 2012, And Thanks For All The Fish

We have come to December 21, 2012 and the potential end of the world (only worry if there is a mass exodus of dolphins, but then, there’s always a back-up earth).  I’d like to take a moment to reminisce on the year that was, and then what I’ll miss most when I raise my hitchhiker ring and attempt to get a ride on a Vogun spaceship.

Stinky Fish of 2012

1. Brave – And here’s an entire blog post why.  I went in with high-expectations for a female led Pixar film in a medieval/fantasy setting.  However, while a visually gorgeous film, it does not meet the potential of Up, Wall-E, or any of the Toy Story movies.

2. Marion Cotliard in The Dark Knight Rises – SPOILER ALERT – While her character begins with promise, her final moments do not live up to the potential of this superb, Oscar-winning actress.  She has a few moments that if she were a European man, she would twist her mustache and let out an evil laugh.  “Yes, Batman, I have tricked you this whole time.  Mwa ha ha.”

3. More Music Reality Shows!  More Celebrity Judges! – I’ve been a nerd about American Idol since the first season, but now, with the dearth of the Voice, the X-factor, the short-lived, poorly conceived Duets on ABC, and the celebritization of the American Idol Judging Panel, the music reality show has clearly over-saturated the market.

While individual contestants are still enjoyable, the focus has become on celebrities instead of on the contestants.  I don’t want bickering, fire-works, back-up dancers, or shiny sets.  I want good performances… although, the saxophone player who co-starred with American Idol winner Philip Phillips in most of his performances is a the best addition to the American Idol enterprise.

How do you raise a level of a show? Boogie with a saxophone.

4. Getting sick the Whole Week Before Christmas – including today.  Always a bummer.  I even missed an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party.

5. Still not finished with my Work In Progress.  Almost done, but won’t be able to finish by New Years.  I may have, if number four hadn’t occurred.

Fresh Fish of 2012

1. Two Great Comic Book Movies: The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises.  – Both are epic spectacles that remain grounded in character and story.  Both achieve the impossible.  The Avengers makes a coherent film with a good story, and just enough focus on depth on each character.  The Dark Knight Rises creates a satisfying conclusion with just enough of a happy ending.  Happy endings seem nearly impossible for The Batman.

2. A great album, a good album, and a pretty good by artists I’ve loved for a long time.  Yes, there’s been good music by new artists, but it’s always nice to have artists and bands knock out solid albums more than a decade into their career.  In order, the albums are:Stronger by Kelly Clarkson, North by Matchbox 20, and Battle Born by The Killers.  There may be more revolutionary artists and albums out there, but all three of these albums have been too busy occupying my MP3 player.  Also, how can you not listen to Stronger and fist pump to the awesome?

3. Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles in Los Angeles. – I know it’s not new or revolutionary, but I went for the first time this last year.  Having not grown up on Southern Food, I never knew a mix of fried chicken, fresh waffle, and maple syrup could be so good.

4. Cirque Du Solei : Iris at the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles – This was my sister Katherine’s birthday/Christmas present to me and it was AMAZING!  If you haven’t seen a Cirque Du Solei show, do it.  Not only are the individual acts and technical wizardry remarkable, but the overall feeling the show paints and journey it takes you on are fun and fascinating.  Iris is about movies and Hollywood, and mixes fun with drama.  The Film Nerd in me was geeking out at the nods to George Melies and to various film dramas.

5. James Bond: Skyfall – Good movie, Classic Bond.

6. Patrick’s Roadhouse – Sitting along the 1 highway, not far from the Santa Monica Pier, this is another long-time Los Angeles eating establishment with great food.  I’ll be going back soon for another delectable burger.

7. Bunheads – New show by the creator of Gilmore Girls, starring Broadway star and Tony Award winner Sutton Foster.  A fun show centered around women and teenage girls who are realistic characters with faults and virtues.  Every episode is quotable, filled with odd film references.  In my house, many conversations become “It’s like that episode of Bunheads where….”  If you haven’t seen it, check out the first part of the first season on Hulu.com.

8. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries on Youtube.  – This is a brilliant modern version of Pride and Prejudice as a series of video blogs (vlogs).  The characters are spot-on modern versions, the segments are short and clever, and it’s a lot of fun.  Every Monday and Thursday, my sister says to me, “So, is there a new Lizzie Bennet Diary up?”  By the way, we watched the first fifty episodes in two nights.  (Episodes are between 3-6 minutes long.)

9. Getting acquainted with the Blogosphere and 97 followers.

Future Fish (If The World Doesn’t End Today)

1. The Man of Steel aka Superman the Indie/Art Film

2. Star Trek Into Darkness – Star Trek + Benedict Cumberbacht = Awesome!  I don’t care who Cumberbacht is playing, and I don’t think it’s Kahn.  I do think it’ll be great.

3. News on the upcoming Star Wars movies!  Whether it’s good or bad, it’ll be exciting.

4. Finishing the current draft of my Work In Progress

5. A new Muppet Movie in the works.  So far, we know Ty Burrell will be playing an Interpol inspector.  Also, I’ve heard rumors that Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Gonzo have all agreed to contracts.  Fozzie is still in negotiations.  There was a question about how many rubber chickens could be in the film.

6. Doctor Who!

Fish I’ll Miss At The End of the World

1. Ice cream.  Chocolate chip cookies.  Peanut Butter Cups.  I might have a sweet tooth.  Oh, and gummi bears!

2. My family and my dogs

3. My ridiculous hat collection, including the Boba Fett beanie I’m wearing while writing this post.  Stylish and warm.

4. Friends at home and abroad.

5. In the words at the end of various video games: “And you!”

And if the world is going to end, we should at least have a parade.  Thanks Super Mario RPG!

Well, that’s it for this year.  Next week will be spent on Christmas and prepping for the new year.  There may or may not be an exciting announcement around New Years.  It depends on a few factors.

What are your favorite fish from 2012?  What are you looking forward to?  Are you doing anything exciting for Christmas or the holidays?

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and A Happy New Year!

*Disclaimer* I actually dislike all fish except for Swedish Fish.  There’s something about seafood flavor that I don’t like.  However, anything gummy is acceptable.

Updated: Epic Tales

Did I mention I believe my talent lies in writing more so than drawing?
Also, the story involves neither magical swords, nor pointy hats.

After months of anticipation, I have finally updated the Epic Tales page under Fantasy and Fairy Tales.  The piece is darker and more serious piece than I originally intended, but I think it’s a good sample of my fiction enjoy writing.  The tone and style of this piece match closely with my current project (see here for more details).

Here’s the 30 second trailer version: One man stands accused of murder.  Does he stay and be executed in innocence, or does he escape and live as an exile?

I hope you enjoy it.

Look For Further Updates, Including:

1. A humorous fantasy piece

2. A science-fiction piece

3. Upcoming blog post about how my siblings and I survived a Zombie-Laker-Fans attack.  (For those not familiar with American Basketball, the Lakers are the L.A. based basketball team which is one of the best in the world.  They have a loyal, rabid fan base.)

Deconstructing Books: Physical Methods

Here comes the wrecking ball.  POOM.

Paper explodes into dust.  Words scatter into the air, lost from the syntax that held their meaning.  Thousands of individual syllables are carried on the wind, later to be joined together by new sentences and paragraphs. 

Some of these are written by a cohort of monkeys eagerly manning typewriters.  Having already captured the wit of Shakespeare, they have moved on a few hundred years and attempt to recreate the Funniest Joke In The World sketch by Monty Python.

The above is just one form of book deconstruction.

I practice the art popularized during the Napoleonic era.  After the French Revolution, guillotine makers and sharpeners were out of work, so they developed other uses for such blades. Over the past few hundred years, this has developed into a motorized blade that slices through the spine of a book.

My cousin, HAL, went on a trip to Jupiter a few years ago.

It is both a spectacular and heart-breaking event.

The books enter the machine.

A laser guide lines up along their edge, marking the blade’s path.

And then: Whirr.  Thunk.

The book has been sliced.

Forever separating page from spine.

For some it is a therapeutic method after having uninteresting books above their reading level foisted upon them.  For others, it is a satisfying alternative to tossing a book across the room in pure, passionate hate   These seems useful for the author of a a recent Freshly Pressed post titled, “Need To Torture Someone, Just Grab One Of These Books…” 

With a turn of the blade, this torture can be reversed.  Bear in mind, however, chopping the spine off a book also increases chances of a paper-cut.  Such violence is a vicious cycle.

However, as with all tools, they can be used for good and for evil.

In the disability services office of a public university where I work, chopping or slicing books is one of the services I provide.  With the sacrifice of a book’s spine, a world is opened up to students and people that never had the opportunity to truly meet and understand the book.  Understandably, some students get very excited:

This student was so excited, she brought me a cupcake!

With the spine gone, the pages are separate pieces of paper.  The pages are scanned in a high-quality scanner, and the words are rejoined together in PDF format.

It is a happy, celebratory moment, and the beginning of the book’s second life.

In this second life, the book is OCR’d (processed so a computer can read physical words as text) and then processed again by a text-to-speech software.  With these steps complete, the book can now be read and understood by people who are have visual impairment, trouble with dyslexia, or learning disabilities.

The book is then returned to the student, who can have it rebound by a copy shop, and the book begins a third life in a new form.

The remnants of deconstructed books

Since our office is left with the spine, I think I might follow the example of this blog and start doing Book Spine poetry.

NOTE: We do contact a few databases and the publisher to acquire the book in electronic format before chopping the spine of a book.  We try to protect books as best as possible, and prevent them from becoming an endangered species.

OTHER METHODS OF BOOK DECONSTRUCTION

1. Hire a ninja to chop a book.

2. Lawn mower or other multi-bladed machine

3. Slice along the spine with a box knife, and then split apart.

4. Put peanut butter between pages and feed to the dog.

5. Write an essay analyzing the book’s structure.  (While interesting, this one is less spectacular and fun to watch happen).

Have you ever deconstructed a book or re-purposed it for something else?  Have you ever finished a book and wanted to physically deconstruct it?  Do you know other methods?